Not for the faint of heart – for the servants’ heart

I am quickly coming to the realization that following Christ is not for the faint of heart but for those with a servants’ heart. I am not saying this to discourage anyone from loving God and following Him, I am simply saying that if you want to move from being a believer to becoming a follower of Christ, you need to be willing to do what God asks of you, in His time, and in His way.

I have said this before, but I will repeat it – I love God! Some days the thought of Him makes my heart flutter. He has changed me in ways that cannot be explained. He is the cause of my joy, and the healer of my pain.  In the recent past I have felt the stirring of God in my heart to move past this stage of simply sitting in awe of Him, basking in His light, watching others do His work. He is calling me to do more, to stretch from my comfortable life of believing in Him, knowing I am saved,  and believing in Him to meet my needs.  I want (need) to step out in faith and do His work. But, man, when you pray those things, you had better be ready for the ride. I don’t think I knew what I was getting myself into!  God answers prayer, He hears our hearts desires. It is then our job to walk out the path He has set before us. We are created with our own free will. I think back to the times when I have asked God to bring me further in Him, I remember roadblocks that came up, that I stopped at, and I remember thinking “well, this must be it, this is as much as I need to do.”  Looking back, if I had done my job, if I had not been so faint-hearted, I would have pushed through the challenges that were set there to draw me closer to God. IF I had truly had a servants’ heart I would have pushed through, without questions, obediently, walking out the path that He had laid out for me.

I wonder if he was disappointed.  I think it would be a lot like when I sat for days watching my daughter as she got ready to take her first steps. DAYS! Days of watching her let go of the table put her foot out and then stop, or fall, or sit, or go back. I would have my camera ready, wanting to be there in that moment. I wonder if God was like that each time I let go and looked up to Him. I think about my daughter and her those days – But when she stopped I encouraged her, I called to her. When she fell I was there to pick her up. When she went back I watched and waited for her to try again. I picture God looking down on me, and doing the same thing. Looking back, I can see the events that lead up to the days when He picked me up, when He called to me, when He sat and waited for me to be ready again.

A servants’ heart. More than just believing in blind faith. A willingness to die to self. A willingness to let go and take the first steps, knowing… not just believing, but KNOWING with every bit of me, knowing that this time when I step out He will have my hand.  Knowing that when I die to self, He will fill that space, He will hold on to what I am and give me what I need to be who He wants me to be.

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