Digging deeper… Pressing In

Some amazing things have been growing in me. I don;t think it is a mistake that God stretches me in the spring. He grows in me the seeds planted over the winter. I struggle in the dark winter months. Many years, just aimlessly wondering what life has for me… what my purpose is… How anything I am, or anything I do can have any effect on those around me… I pray to God to give me a direction. I stand in the shower with tears rolling down my face begging for Him to fill me up with His purpose… for a direction.. for anything, just to know that I am worthy of being something He can use.

Have you felt that way? anyone?

See, I know that God has something for me that is BIG! I have known since I was little. I have just been sitting and waiting. And living my life. A life with so many struggles and failures. A life of successes, too.

So, what is this THING? For a couple of months now I have felt it growing and moving within me. I have heard it described by others as a birthing process, and it actually feels sort of like that. I feel something incredible developing within me, knowing it is there, but completely unable to describe it, or share it with anyone yet, as I don’t know exactly what it is.

So I wait… and I lose myself in worship, and in His words.

This weekend, Kevin and I went to Niagara Falls for a weekend to have some quiet and enjoy each others presence without the day-to-day bombarding us. It is such an amazing place. If you haven’t figured this out about me yet, I am rarely at a loss for words, but there is something so overwhelming about the Falls. This creation that we are blessed with. All of this power in one spot. So majestic.

At one point, we were walking along the Riverwalk, and I felt this stirring. I lost my breath, IT was the most amazing thing to experience. I told Kevin I just needed to sit and pray for a bit, so he backed off a little, and I went up on a  rock by this raging course in the river. And in the middle of all these people, I was alone with God. I have described it as this before, I know, but it felt like the beating of a thousand wings inside of me. Taking my breath away. I am certain that I was probably glowing. It felt like I was. There were other moments through out the weekend that felt similar. Many times tears started to come to my eyes.

(Are you still with me and my ramblings? Thank you for that)

I share this all with you as part of my journey. I am not there yet. It is still coming. In all of this, God is saying “Marcy, press in to me… dig deeper into your faith, into who I am. Press on.”

Exciting days are ahead. Thank you to all of you who lift me up in your prayers.

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. rebuild the ruins
    May 14, 2012 @ 18:34:13

    He knows your name. He knows your style of communicating. He knows everything about you. His voice to you is unique and when the world shouts at you–listen intently for what he is saying. I loved reading this post. It made me so happy. Great things are coming your way and you won’t be able to deny that it is Him.

    Reply

  2. towertales
    May 15, 2012 @ 06:37:20

    I loved this Blog! Glen & I have been to Niagara falls together also- it’s like God’s amazing overflowing never ending beauty continually pouring out and washing over us. Powerful & Majestic!! I can’t wait to see what God has in store for you MORE 🙂 I love this part,….seeing Believers in Jesus flourish & grow- it is the Fruit that makes me more excited to watch than the first coming to know, believe & trust in him- because this is the proof that’s in the pudding 🙂

    Reply

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